My Issue with Valentines

BeMyValentine_TAF-421We are in a series in Sisterhood right now on our issues. We call it ‘The Dirty-Dirty’. It’s a great theme that gives us a chance to be real about the hurts, habits and hang-ups that can hold us back or have held us back in life. Last night, I had a chance to share in the two-minute pre-segment we call ‘Take Two’.

In light of the theme, and Valentines week, I thought it’d be fitting to talk about my issue with Valentines Day. Surprisingly, when I mentioned I had had an issue with the infamous day of love, many other girls raised their hands in agreement. I thought I’d be in the minority, but found that at least half the room did currently, or had at some point, agree with me.

Our reasons behind our issue with the day probably vary as much as all of us. For me, mine wasn’t so much with the holiday, but what it represented…. LOVE. I grew up in a home where love wasn’t really celebrated, and I didn’t really feel celebrated. On top of that, I experienced a lot of inconsistency, instability, un-availability, abuse, and other issues from those around me in my formative years. Those who should have loved me well, really weren’t able to in that season. And so, I grew up walled off from love. It didn’t have a high value to me, and I didn’t cognitively realize or think about it how much I needed it or how dysfunctional I was in it. I set out in college to conquer the world, with little thought on family, or warm fuzzy friendships… I thought I was good with my goals and all I could do.

My junior year, the most amazing men swept me off my feet and arrested my heart; my husband David, and Jesus. I wish I could say change happened completely over night. I did experience a sudden transformation, but heart healing takes time. So as David and I set out dating and then after we were married, I trained him not to celebrate me on Valentines Day. As soon as it would roll around, I’d be on my soapbox calling it a racket. I’d say it was just a holiday invented by Hallmark and Florists to make money off the people.

Fast forward about ten years later – the love of my husband, who loves me like Jesus, and the love of Jesus and His people in my most amazing church, really changed me. I began to love, LOVE. I got good at celebrating it, and when Valentines Day rolled around, I wanted to be celebrated. Poor David, he had to play catch up… He was pretty OK not making a big deal out of it, and then had to feel out, how big of a deal does Amy want me to make of it. 🙂 The things we put our men through! LOL!

In light of that, and in having an opportunity to share last night at Sisterhood, I decided to set the tone this year by writing David a Dirty-Dirty (w/ some of our issues) Valentines poem to read aloud to him in front of the girls… It was a hit! He loved it. It’s not often I render him speechless. I am not really a poet, but thought I’d share it here as well, just for fun in celebrating today.


You are the yin to my yang;

The bread to my butter.

I am thankful we didn’t come from the same mother…

Well, because that would make you, my brother.

You are the salt to my pepper;

the cookie to my cream.

You are neat and tidy, And I am not so clean…

Thanks for the grace for our home not having to be pristeen.

You are the light to my darkness;

The rhythm to my song.

We get along well except when we fight, for…

I am always right and you are never wrong.

You are the milk to my cereal;

The icing on my cake.

Speaking of food – I love you…

Despite the eating sounds you make.. scrape, scrape, scrape.

In the famous words of Jerry Maguire;

Next to Jesus, You complete me.

Thanks for loving me despite myself…

And buying me things on Valentines Day now, ever so freely.

Love big today! It’s worth it. Praying you feel celebrated in every way. And remember, the God of the Universe is head over heals in love with you. He is your forever Valentine! xo Amy